I am going through a bit of an identity crisis. My mother sent me the Lord's Prayer in an email the other day. Nothing unusual about that... she is always sending me religious emails. It's usually one of those "send this to 10 people in the next five seconds or you will undoubtedly burn in hell..." emails. I don't even know why I open the junk she sends me, but as I was reading this one, I thought to myself "Doesn't she know I'm not Catholic?". Is she trying to be obnoxious? Or is it just natural? I was tempted to send her the Witch's Rede just for a goof. I ended up brushing it off as I realize that I am just on her list. Lucky me! lol Anyways... I just thought I would share here that I have been really thinking about this for a bit and this email set me off again. I know that lables really aren't neccesary, I am who I am and besides... I have a really strong spirituality. I LOVE being a witch. When I decided to follow the path called "witch" seriously instead of just dabbling like I had been for years... that was the day my spirituality came to life. And I have had such wonderful things happen since. Ack... why am I so stuck on the religious stuff? I do not know exactly where religion falls in my life. And do I need a religion if my spirituality is in place? Mr. Witch says that he knows what he believes and he does not feel the need to search any longer. He sees so many searching. I feel as though I have found my place in the world and then I just keep nagging at myself about this one thing. As I was looking through the books at Barnes and Noble this morning I realized that I am so secure on my witch path. I know who I am and what I believe. I did pick up a book ... I will give it a shot. I think it may help me put this behind me. I now see a lot of these books as guides, ways to get my creative mind jump started... not so much that any one book is going to give me all the answers in ten easy chapters. Jeepers, I'm rambling. 11:30 is obviously way too late for me to be awake on a school night!! :) I wil let you know how I make out here. Until then... love you!! Merle.
Just as Wulf explained, this movie I saw yesterday touched on something I was already feeling very strongly about and the director did an amazing job of presenting his story to us. The movie we saw was Ironman. I adore Robert Downey Jr. from the old days. I was very sad when he stopped acting and was in and out of rehab all those years. I knew a lot of people who were making fun of him and his troubles, but I always felt a connection to him for some reason. He has been acting a bit lately but this... this was the perfect comeback for him... the hero. I was so proud for him. I will not give away the story incase any of you are headed out to the theatre to see his movie, I promise. However, the part that touched me further was the fact that it took place in Pakistan and involved arms dealing and who is providing who with the weapons to kill. To me, it's all pretty much confusing but only because I have never really sat down to track the dealings. Mr. Witch is very political and knows a great deal more than I about this particular subject. I can barely listen to him as he explains how we, America, are responsible for a great deal of this mayhem. Our weapons and financing are being used to keep the hatred, obsessive control and chaos going in the Middle East. We are the evil empire, pure and simple. Anti terrorism... we are the biggest terrorist out there. And it isn't the U.S. Military (meaning the actual men and women in uniform fighting over there)... it's the corporations because, after all, war is big business. And all for democracy? Check our pledge of allegiance. It says "to the Republic for which we stand..." a republic is very different than a democracy. As I said to Chicoryflower one day, I am actually embarrassed to be an American and that's tough for someone who has been called "Betsy Ross" on more than one occasion. And there I sit in the theatre with my beautiful daughters who I love more than any other thing is this world...watching and being "entertained" by this story. They thought it was cool, and they would be right... it was a very good movie. Our oldest was fuming because she understands a great deal more than the other two. She and I were affected because we understand that this story is actually based on a travesty that is really happening just a few thousand miles away. The thing that gets me the most is how this idiocy affects the families of these war torn countries. Ever take a chance to actually look at person from Pakistan, Iraq or Iran? They are simply gorgeous. They dress beautifully and have such amazing family love and values. They seem to me better at family than most Americans I have met. Yet, they are being ripped apart by war. Our own children are over there in the middle of it all and it is no wonder they come back from Iraq "different". I had a neighbor who spent 18 months in Iraq. She doesn't talk about most of it, not even to her family. I wonder if she came back knowing too much of the truth that is going on there. And at what cost? Family. And you cannot put a price tag on what war does to family. What it has done to the families of the soldiers fighting and (this may not make me very popular) and especially the families of the Middle East is just appalling. I cannot not even imagine the terror they live with daily. I cannot imagine raising my children in a country being ripped apart by war or being ripped from my home and forced to leave my town on foot, carrying everything I own on my back. My heart pours out to these displaced families. I am sitting here wondering what it is I can do. I would love to visit Iraq; I have heard it's beautiful. But that is far too dangerous. And sending them money or other things they may need would be considered "funding terrorists" and ya go to prison for that... yet... isn't that what the US Government has been doing for years? Don't get me started. I just want to help the families. Ack. This stinks. Anyway... awful thoughts for a Sunday, I know... just hug your family really close today. Love you all, Merle.
I have done absolutely nichts today! It was 32 degrees this morning, so I snuggled up with all of you and blog trolled all day. Cozy. I have an amazing evening of studying my craft planned. I love lazy days just like today. I am so grateful for the opportunity to enjoy just "being" every now and then. Down side: not much to blog about. lol But, hey... tomorrow is another day! Love you guys!!! Merley.
Yesterday I was feeling really down... my childhood home was lost to foreclosure this past weekend and I was blaming my mother for the entire fiasco. I had planned on doing some kick-ass spellcasting last night to rid myself of the pain, anger, confusion and sadness that was taking me over. I was going to create a whole new altar just for the occasion. I posted here at CS to get some input and WOW!!! You witches rock... you proved that to me once again. After reading your insight, wisdom and thoughts on the problem, I came to the conclusion that I was just far too overwhelmed and I was headed toward a rash decision. I am now more able to see my mother's side of the trouble. I have a greater sense of what I should actually cast for. I was way too tired, weepy and just plain out of control last night. I couldn't think straight. Kathy suggested that I put it all down when I'm ready to give it up. That made so much sense to me. I want to make sure I let it all go when I know what all of "it" is... every single feeling and emotion. I don't want to do things half-baked anymore. When I do that, I end up leaving something important out and then I am right back where I began anyway. I have been thinking a lot about finding balance in my life and this latest family event has verified for me that I am way off the scales on some things. I had begun an exercise of balancing my connection with the elements over the weekend. I had always thought that all of us were either waters, airs, fires or earths. After reading more on the subject, I have discovered that we all embrace all of the elements, some stronger than others, but we depend on a balance of all elements in our craft. I am a big elements witch... I call upon them quite a bit, so this project is fascinating to me. I decided to hit the softness and comfort of my bed and read more on this subject instead of creating havoc with a spell filled with mixed up emotions. I began taking notes on which elements I have really great connections with and which ones I need stronger connections with. I took a really honest personal inventory. As it turns out, I have far too much fire energy bundled up inside me. That shocked me at first, but it totally makes sense since I feel most connected to my craft through candles and the outside fireplace. I do most if not all of my casting at my hearth. As I am finding out, too much fire can be just as bad as not having enough. My plan is to not only get my connections with the elements in balance, but I want to use one element to balance the others. Instead of being a hot-head and forcing my way, I will try being more like water and flowing with or around my adversaries. I am going to keep working on myself this way. I will probably post a lot about this journey here at CS since that seems to always help in ways I hadn't dreamed possible, so forgive my elements, elements, elements... I also bought a brand new really cool altar table for my room. I am so psyched!! Hope you are enjoying Earth Day!! I planted some sunflower seeds... I am so mad at the squirrels right now... they have been digging up my bulbs. Stinkers. It's a very good thing I'm a good witch, or watch out squirrels!! ;) Love you!! Merle.
I conquered a ginormous fear yesterday!!! Wow... it feels great. Meet Zelda. She is a five year old Pit Bull/Boxer mix. She is our neighbor's dog and the most beautiful dog I have ever laid eyes on, and friendly to boot. My girls play with her every day, but up until now Zelda and I have had a relationship that consisted of her barking (more like woofing... like "pay attention to me" and wagging her tail when she sees me, I say hi to her, sometimes talk to her from the safe distance of me in my yard, she in hers. I have always wanted to pet her and play with her, but whenever I step foot in her yard, she growls. Hmmm.... Okay, so she likes my girlies in her yard but not me, I can live with that... or can I? :) I told Tori (my 11 year old) yesterday that before spring break is over, I want to pet Zelda. It was a goal. Well, you'd have to know Tori to really appreciate this... but she set right out to getting this done. She is the one to get things done and she always knows everything that is going on in the neighborhood. She is like a mini neighborhood watch. lol The minute Zelda came outside, Tori grabbed me and set up the meeting. Addie, our youngest, says "don't be afraid... they can smell fear." Umm... thanks there hunny, that helps. * visualizes getting eaten by a pit bull because she smelled fear* So, I met Zelda, face to face, I reached out and pet her. :) The girls were so proud of me!! And I was proud of me too. I feel stronger and more powerful... like I'm not alone... ever since I have begun this new way of life. :) The rest of the day was just as fabulous!! We reached a high of 75 degrees and after leaving an "away message here" lol, taking the girls shopping for jewelry making supplies and a quick stop at the witch shop, we spent the rest of the day outside. Addie had never been to the witch shop... she instantly fell in love. As soon as she figured out where we were going, she excitedly said "Can I get something? I need some witchful supplies." :) Witchful...hee hee... she is my witchling, for sure. The girls and I raked all the leaves out of the Witch Garden and after a small break I planted all of my bulbs in there (somewhere between 70 and 100 bulbs) and then spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in that garden. Mr. Witch had a fire going in the outdoor fire place while I planted. He wanted to make it more of a ritual type of a day... welcome spring right. Sometimes I think he is a better witch than me, even though he isn't one. lol Rebie, the oldest, wanted to get some crystals, so I took her to the other witch shop we have here, but they were closed, so I took her to the mall. We spent the evening shopping and talking. I love spending time with her. On the drive back home, she looked over at me and said "I'm glad I came out with you, I love spending time with you." *big smiles* I told her how much I love spending time with her... I tell her that always. Today wasn't as warm out, but we had a great day nonetheless. I transplanted a few things and relaxed. We finally made it to the witch shop for Rebie's crystals. This has been a great start to our spring break!! Gonna go do some more cleaning!!! Love to all.... Merley.
